Alexis Gold Loves Twinkies

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this is Alexis Gold she’s a fat Jewish shoot from the OC who has consumed way too many twinkies over the past few years. Many snack companies have gone out of business because she eats way too many bags of snacks and the companies can’t keep up with the production. This girl is a fat Jew who tries to shed anonymity by using different last names including Katrina and Goldman. No one knows her real last name so she uses all these fake last names with the hope that people won’t know who she really is. She retired from Sea World as the main walrus inside the aquarium and is now pursuing a modeling and acting career in Los Angeles. Her Instagram is @alexisgoldmusic and she has over ten thousand followers she bought in order to appear famous but no one really give a sh*t about her music. She can’t dance or sing well so she just spent money on those fake followers to act popular. Nik, do you have any advice for this big girl?

Yes, please LaserAway the Sea World logo tattoo. Sea World is a bad look these days.- nik

Joanna Modes Really Messed Up

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, she was born into an aristocratic family with Royal blood. Her grandfather is an grand-uncle of Georgian King but in 2008 Joanna has been disinherited. They had withdrawn the royal titles and privileges from her because of her inappropriate behaviour. She officially changed her name from Joanna Veronica Bagration-Mukhrancli-Orlovska to Joanna Modes.

What did she do — who did she sleep with?- nik

Gemma Lee Farrell and Jessica Cribbon ARE Social Media

NRP interviews Gemma Lee Farrell and Jessica Cribbon. Listen in as this Kiwi and Aussie discuss IG model stereotypes, Chris Brown, and what it’s like to work in a male prison.

Click here to get your NRP fix on iTunes!!!

Little Rock Officer Robert Emery

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this here is Robert Emery, a Little Rock Cop.  When you first meet him he’s sweet and everyone loves him.  Then you get to know the real him. Hands down the most self centered man I’ve ever met.  His “best friend” is his girlfriend.  All over her social media accounts she posts how much she loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. Meanwhile he’s talking to a bunch of other girls for her to see. He uses Snapchat to talk to other girls. Has sent me videos of him jacking off in his cop car while on the job, I’m not joking. Sent me endless amounts of nudes I never asked for. I could get him fired. His poor kids have a disgusting father with nothing but sex on his mind. He will do you dirty then act like he’s completely in the right and he only cares about himself.

OP, what did you send him back?- nik

Chloe Olier Played Me

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, so I met this girl on Seeking Arrangements and started seeing her for about a month. I found out that she had multiple Arrangements going on and treats as more of an escorting thing other than an actual arrangement. She is hooking up with 60 year old guys from the site, really disgusting.

OP are you an idiot? That is an escort website. Its a money exchange arrangement for sex.- nik

Maxine Juliet Married A Lawyer In His 60’s For Love

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this trashy fake blonde married a 60 year old lawyer for his money. He looks like her dad and it’s super weird and creepy. She claims they have a special connection but the only connection is between her and his wallet. She flaunts her big diamond ring and new car and she thinks she’s the sh*t. She thinks she’s so hot with her fake tits and fake hair. Your a trashy classless whore and nobody likes you. Only a desperate old man would be attracted to her she looks like a man.

I wish I could see what the husband looks like.- nik

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